starts from friday night.
i was a good girl
stayed home, even slept early,
saturday
woke up.
helped around the house.
still being pretty nice.
after church, met johny and went to pantat's birthday. at baracuda. a pub
i heard the f1 cars; they were a major steam la. plus watching it on the screen
it couldn't have been better. with the music and the company.
sooo,
mel was waiting for me, didnt wanna be the only girl around his friends.
she'd been drinking. haha. she got me shots after shots after shots.
ended up. drunk. majorr drunk la. i had like at least 12 shots.and a few drinks
i had to leave as ealry as 1 am.
my parents happened to come back around then, saw me from the cab,
they were sooo pissed to me sooo drunk.
lectured. the next day.
felt like crap la. from alchohol and myself.
soo ya
I vow never to get as pissed drunk as i was.
today
operation day, to remove my lump on my back.
woke up darn early,
took a train to the hosp.
then they got me ready and walked me into the OT.
i was damnnnn fking scared la.
sooo this nurse, was superr nice. she talked to me and reasssured me and all.
i lied on the operating table - they hooked me up to numerous machines and monitors.
i juts lied there for a good 15 mins alone.
damn scared. i started to tear,
then the sweet nurse came around and tried to talk to me then she wiped my tears off.
finally the doctor arrives and looks through all the mri scans and info.
then he says " ok just to inform u, u can still op out of this because its benign and
there's a very high chance of it growing out again even if i removed it now. so do u want to remove it..?
then i was like " ermm.. ya i guess" soo they made me lie on my left lateral throughout..
sooo they checked me like 101 times. my name, ic no, what op it was,
then he cleaned and cleaned my back.
slowly, he injected me like i think 10 times alll over my back.
damn pain la. soo me being a crybaby- started to go ouch. pain pain pain.and tears rolling down.
then they were like sorry ah sorry.
finally my back is numb. he asks me " can u feel ur back numb?"
then he goes on to cut my back and i felt it, so i cried but to myself la.
actually i was soo scared throughout - i kept tearing and crying to myself.
then i felt major pain. he cut me where he didnt numb soo i was like ahhh pain!
then the doctor just did everything la.
it got more pain when he went deeper into my back. but he told me it would be more pain.
so i expected la.
finally done, at 10.05 am. wheeled me out to the resting place. damn hard to change, and cant bend my back now. for now.
i cant sleep on my usual right. it sucks.
on pain killers.
my back hurts.
cant sit properly.
i need a dressing everyday or every other day.
my dearest MISSSIES! come do for me k.
hahah off to rest.
omg i miss my dearest boy la. i really would love to have him by my side now.
I MISS U, come see me on tuesday night , love.
i love my johnyboy
i missss u la
friday night has become soo boring
last week was fun,
met johny -while we were both fighting and high
it ended up a night full of fun.
my poor boy is in camp.
cant wait to see him tmr.
the girls had a stayover at my place lst night
watched leap years- was nice but complicating initially.
IM DAMN BOREDD.
savee me pplease
i havent been updating and blogging much.
just cause i am lazy and tired.
have been going to church soo faithfully and obediently fior the last 9 days
for feast day novena.
1. to thank god for my results and letting things come my way,
2. pray for the family
3. pray for my dearest, naddles- _______________
4. forr my sweet sweet jons, for strength and courage to do what he has to.
i hope my prayers are answerd.
i feeel sick now.
sore throat, feverish.
cramps. ):
johny got his posting yesterday and he did get it.
he got into scout.
the officers told them, training isnt gonna be easy and they not gonna be getting to go home
too often which means, seeing me less and all.
but non the less i told him, it's ok i'll be here for u, as long as when he books out, he meets me.
i would be understanding. not tt he wanted it this way.
he's gonna be staying in for the rest of army life. 1 year 7 months.
going to brunei , maybe taiwan and all. )):
things arent gonna be easy for me with attachment and PRCP and not seein him much.
but things happen for a reason. we're gonna be there for each other and get through it.
this one's so meaningful. brings tears to my eyes.
There's a new world somewhere
They call The Promised Land
And I'll be there some day
If you will hold my hand
I still need you there beside me
No matter what I do
For I know I'll never find another you
There is always someone
For each of us they say
And you'll be my someone
For ever and a day
I could search the whole world over
Until my life is through
But I know I'll never find another you
It's a long, long journey
So stay by my side
When I walk through the storm
You'll be my guide Be my guide
If they gave me a fortune
My pleasure would be small
I could lose it all tomorrow
And never mind at all
But if I should lose your love, dear I don't know what I'd do
For I know I'll never find another you
But if I should lose your love, dear I don't know what I'd do
For I know I'll never find another you
Another you
Another you
i have a new spare phone Nokia 1209 .ahhahaha
im happy.
i miss my johny love sooo much. cant wait for the weekend
im happy again.
im back.
sooo
smile!
thanks nad, queens, jo!
LOVEE
ii juts bought a spare phone.
attachments- are over and couldn't have been better.
staff have been the best i have seen.
i dont mind PRCP-ing there
other then that.
i have a pimple face.
thanks to hospital environments.
i suck at things i cant manage.
i don't really know wht this is all abt. i drank.
im pissed.
im tirred.
leave me alone
have i lost her? to someone not worth?
is this all worth it? i never expected the person closest to me to do this to me.
best friends u expect.
i have no clue. i want all this to end. i want my babygirl. sweet and innocent. i miss u girl
realise. please. before its too late.
bunch,
i have nth to say,
time is all i need.
your time.
i give, u take.
u take
u take
not fair right.?
think.
its not easy.
but i think u're better then this.
stop drinking.
i hope the dog who picked up my phone dies in a car crash soon some day
i lost my damn phone.
stll using the same number soooo please be nice and send me a text with ur number and name,
till then im screwed cuz results are out in 4 mins.
bye
I LOVE MY JOHNY BOY!
this EN pisssed me off soo bad. fucking rude bitch la.
fucking ugly pimple mungen bitch face.
anyhow i got to do a last office today. really interesting
but not for blogging.
"bunch, imissu".
hrr! my dearest hasnt called for 2 days,
hope you're fine.
been very tired lately.
went to buangkok with the brudda and nadine for supper.
:)
i miss my johnsons!
"call love call."
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't knowYou tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
attachment seems to be going quite fine.
but i hate waking up.
i sleep late every other night.
soo in prep for 11 sept, my momma's bday
i cleaned the whole house as soon as i got back from work
from sweeping to mopping.
folding clothes. cleaning the kitchen
but its the least i could do
evene with the throbbing back pain.
and tired eyes.
why do i always complain.
maybe i just have to let it all out.
im actually a happier person , i know.
why wouldnt i be.
just tt sometimes, stress and issues get the better of me.
anyways.
i love and miss my johny and naddles.
its easy,
heads spinning,
face's sunken
uneaten
tired.
i'm just so tired.
no one in particular.
just feeeling so sick and tired and stressed out.
i hope i feel better after the 12,16, 19 and 26 september.
jon's pop- which i cant attend
results.
pass attachment
op.
myfsister's PSLE
worried. scared,sad. anxious. i feeel.
i hope my week turns out just fine.
i need someone. i feel wierd. its been 3 weeks. im pretending to be fine.
i smile, but i hide alot.
i drink, and fly just so i dont think about stuff.
no one would know,
but just so you know, a lil
im under pressure. standing tall for ME isn't easy.
im trying.
but through it all, i know there's one. with me. always. :)
cry with me, someone. make me feel good.
shins, nad, mee
nado and monsss
shinaa :)- babe, u damn hot la!
double o nights.
im am super angry la.
someone is just mad to piss me off on a sunday morning when i havent had much sleep.
i feeel like killing!!!
its starts off as
1.
p: hey the air con is spoilt better hope that yours doesnt conk out as well. cuz we aren't
repairing it.
me: why??
p: soo that electricity bills are lower..
me:ooh come on la! fine. then i'll go to mac donalds to sleep every night.
p: go la. ok what?
me: *thinks* at least i can head out instead of sleeping evry night with the air con being the excuse.
me: wah i cant wait to work and earn la- then i'll get outta the house?
p: what did u say? you waiting to get out ah?
me: ya why?? cant do without me cuz i happen to be the only one who cares to sweep mop and clean. your part time maid
p: NO. its ur duty to.
me: fine. im not doing it anymore.
2.
o: eh where's my korean dvd? still there ah?
me: huh? i dunno i need to go check and see.
O: wah now take things out, dunno how to bring home.
me: i said i will check rrite..
o: why now only check?
me: cuz maybe i dun go to johnys house as often anymore.??
o; ooh then every weekend u say u gonna meet him yall go where??
me: out la.
o: where la?
me: sunny singapore la. not happy when i go there and go out? then where to go la?.
walks off.
not talking,
seriously pissed la.
plus _____ is pissing me off even more la!
fuck my weekend .
work morning.
got home and rushed to bathe and got ready to go for facial.
turned out it was just next to double o.
then we headed to get stamps at o bar early,
bumped into some friends there.
sadly, the age limit jus had to piss us off.
had dinner nearby, drank a lil
and tried to head back in.
afterwhich naddles and i headed to boat quay,
went to silver,
for the first time, i think its a nice place, but
the crowd wasnt really therre.
then to 2359 for a while and after tt back to silver
bumped into shina, she damn cute la!
then after a while we left and they had breakfast and we headed home at 7.
sooo here i am, bored again, wishing i can have more fun.
what ever happened to my weekend la.?
i saw my love all drunk and sleeping in scotts place.
had tea with soctt chatted and bought food home, and got scolded for being late.
hrr!
boreed la.
weekends i love.
i want to seee u please??
onco
its a nice place but takes alot to be there.
this one isn't my field.
too much to handle. the wounds and deaths are just too much
ms ____ was sooo sad, she cried when we transfered her to another ward,
she felt we kept her company and she had people there for her here.
now aunty ____ is quite nicee, she's a lil confused - the way she talks.
cute and entertaining. but painful to see them suffer.
me
facial tmr. the environment and atmosphere is jsut soo bad and dirty.
dr hausksa's
somehow , i'm just feeling a lil dow
n now, is it just moods or what?
but its this feeling u get when u just want to cry out and make yourself feel better,
im afraid for the results.
i want to pass my attachments,
i want happiness for all u loves out there,
stress less.
i tell everyone to smile, when they're sad, but when i am,
i can't seem to tell myself that.
jons
jony had his second interview today for scout. in army.
i hope he did well and hope he gets what god wants him to have.
although its stressful for him, he is having fun and good memories.
now he is having his 16km route march at east coast, this cold night.
one more week till POP. which again i cant be there for. sadly, cause of attachments.
i miss you and love you.
i miss our times.
but you done us all proud, love.
babygirl,
theres one thing i want u to know, just have fun and live the way you want to.
remember all i have told u and follow it.
its not easy, yes! but you will get what u want! just the way u want it to, only if u listen to me.
you know i mean well for you. and i would do all i could for you, to make you smile,
deep inside too. soo please smile and be happy babygirl.
LOVE.peace.HARMONY.
kisses
attachment time- no time. no mood for blogging.